Officially a Published Author! My Memoir Available on Amazon!
"Sexual Sanctity: A Memoir of My Burning Times and Learning Times," By, Anshin B. Kelly
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Anshin B. Kelly recounts in this deeply honest, factual, and audaciously Spiritual Memoir; her life, starting from very early childhood, to the birth of her second daughter in 2014.
"The Burning Times" originally refers to the centuries of unspeakable torment in Europe, exacted upon mostly Women Healers and Midwives during the rise of the Catholic Church and Inquisition. Anshin B. grew up in Salem, Massachusetts, famous for "The Salem Witch Trials," which was a resurgence and continuation of the unspeakable crimes already committed by the Catholic Regime, and in many ways continuing all over the world at that time.
Anshin B. does not feel that this is any coincidence, as she eventually became a Traditional Midwife and Healer decades after moving from Salem, Massachusetts. Anshin B. feels deeply and profoundly that the patterns of "The Burning Times," still replay themselves in Modern Western Culture. The Sacred Feminine's annihilation in the days of the Inquisition, through the annihilation of the Women Midwives and Healers, mostly through stake burning; replayed themselves in many different psychologically, and physically violent ways throughout her life. These patterns of torment manifested themselves in both her religious and secular communities.
Today, Anshin B. feels deeply, that Modern Western Culture is experiencing the fruits of a severely unaddressed, psychological "Burning Times," manifesting itself as a severe, widespread attack on the Sacred Feminine. There is much resistance from women (and men) in Modern Western Culture, to pass through "The Fire;" that is, Modern Western Culture's buried and neglected, ancestral trauma, accountability and Feminine Legacy. However, through profound, life experience, Anshin B. has found that the only way to "The Learning Times," is to see through "The Burning Times;" in our personal, familial, social, and national realities and lives.
Free Excerpt:
“Introduction
I think I'd pretty much decided long ago to never write or speak about this extremely personal topic. The main reasons are rooted in the scars on my heart, mind and spirit caused by verbal, emotional and spiritual burns; primarily by many members of my religious community, and more numerous members of secular communities I grew up in. The former primarily came from religious members who had committed sexual indiscretions and needed an easy, vulnerable scapegoat they could attack and deflect their feelings of worthlessness on, and the latter were primarily people who also needed a whipping post they could torment, in order to try and distract themselves from their unhappiness caused by sexual actions that lacked self-care, or boundaries. The former inflicted "scripture beatings," and the latter jeered, mocked and ostracized me. Why I've decided to finally write about it, is far beyond me; literally, in the sense that I am compelled by a Higher Love.
I grew up in the late '90s and early 2000's. The breakdown of family had already been implemented, and cultivated for decades in American Culture. In response to the chaos that ensued in the course of the birth, and upbringing of subsequent generations in those decades, religious groups doubled, and tripled down on more fanatical, and rigid mentalities concerning sexuality and marriage. This response in turn only inflamed the secular, and modernistic groups to quadruple down on mentalities that cultivated and encouraged sexual laxity and/or sexually graphic education in all age groups, especially, in minors.
The religious community I grew up in is the only religious group I know of in the world who has taught a radical spiritual, and cultural concept called "Absolute Sex." This profound concept presents the fact that first of all, Creation Energy is Sexual Energy. In other words, the Core Energy of the Universe is sexual, but is not isolated to the physical sex act between mammals or humans. It unapologetically exposes the foundational, spiritual and physical reality, that the Core Function of the Universe pulses from the rhythmic, and purpose-driven principle, that Opposing Forces originate from a Core Higher Impulse or Love, namely, Yin and Yang, who in turn are attracted to each other through this same Core Impulse; create a "Common Base” * that in turn generates a third reality. The word "Absolute" refers to the fact that these Principles are an unchanging reality; no matter what, magnets both facing each other on their "negative" charge, or in the same fashion, the "positive charge," will never attract; whereas if their opposing sides are facing each other, they will always attract.
In other words, all Cosmic Relations from the molecular to the physical are governed by this "Absolute'' unchanging law. A lightning storm is a phenomenal thing to watch, from a safe distance. Thunder and lightning are created through the same Yin/Yang, positive/negative laws described above. The sexual act between a man and a woman can be just as phenomenal to experience, if not, ever so much more so. However, the radical concept or teaching of "Absolute Sex" then maintains with unwavering certainty, that, just as a lightning storm should be respected for its phenomenal power and beauty, lest a person be destroyed by it, so must, in many ways, an even more strong and wise view, attitude and practice needs to be honored with the Sexual, Creation Act between men and women.
*Divine Principle
Chapter One
Section One: The Burning Times in a Modern Day Tourist Trap
For those of you who are not familiar, "The Burning Times' ' originally refers to the hundreds of years of slaughter, beginning in Europe of millions of mostly women, instigated worldwide by the Inquisition and Catholic Church. Narratives of fear, hysteria, and violence swept across Europe and the globe with the Christianizing of Indigenous Nations and Peoples. It is referred to as The Burning Times, because the primary way in which a woman, or man, was murdered was through burning at the stake.
In my harrowing life experience, this unspeakable violence that is inextricably part of Westernism, is very much still, in our DNA. "The Burning Times" of my life began at the tender age of about six years old, and would torment me right down to the core of my being, for 13 years.
My family moved to Salem Massachusetts when I was five, and again within Salem when I was six. For some crazy reason I will never fully understand, my mother and a close friend took us kids, including our friend's small daughter, to the famous "Salem Witch Museum," in the first handful of weeks after moving. I was the oldest in the group of small children. My mother and our friend confessed later that they had no idea this monstrous building right smack in the middle of Historical Downtown Salem Massachusetts was not a "museum" at all; it was a tourist trap, that is still there to this day, raking in millions a year, around and on Halloween time. Why those two maternal figures in us kid's lives at the time did not insist on leaving in the middle of the horror show (blocked doors be damned), is still, far beyond me. But I might understand more now, what prevented them from doing the right, and protective thing for their children.
The tourist trap in the middle of downtown Salem Massachusetts is a production that dramatizes and sensationalizes the trying, torturing and murdering of the numerous women, and a few men of Salem Massachusetts, who were accused of practicing black magic and witchcraft. It's meant to be like a "horror" theatrical production. But the true horror actually lies in the fact that these innocent women and men's unspeakable suffering is not remembered, or even remotely given the recognition they deserve, and let's be honest, we need. Instead, Salem's rich history, and the deep historical lessons needed in our present times, and always, are routinely drowned out, and the suffering of human beings extorted for monetary gain.
My mother, and family friend said that they wouldn't let anyone out of the building after the dramatization had begun. In my gut, even as a small child, that seemed like a very feeble excuse for allowing us to be exposed to such horrors as small children. However, nearly 30 years later, I now at least recognize in a small way why these two Western mothers didn't insist, and push the teenager who collected tickets at the door aside, and just leave with us: These women's ancestors were broken through The Burning Times, and these women were barely surviving their own.
Section Two: The Nightmare of Days
Sexual trauma and the predatory presence was and still is deeply woven into my family maternal line. It seems from that point forward, after the horror-show visit, something opened, a hemorrhage, in the spiritual fabric of my family, particularly, within my mother. This hemorrhage seemed to open the gates of Hell, and my mother's trauma and rage seemed to become deeply magnified. My mother's and father's relationship was chronically abusive; my father was seriously lacking in tools emotionally, and spiritually, and my mother had very little control over her emotions, which often led to the verbal, emotional and physical abuse of me, my siblings and my father.
For a year following the visit to the tourist trap, I had night terrors almost every night that usually involved the torture and killing of women, and small children. I routinely woke up in a cold sweat. One dream in particular stands out in my mind, and I never forgot it all these decades later: I was shooting a baby over and over and over again. The baby's body was clearly full of bullet holes and soaked in a river of blood. As an experienced healer now, and dream interpreter, clearly, my life as a child was horrifically riddled with chronic abuse and neglect. My Little Innocent Child Soul was desperately in despair, and learning a terrible, terrible dance of torture, one chronically abusive day at a time - how to loath myself. So began my lifelong wounded, learned existence as The Scapegoat.
It's so very clear now, beginning with my mother, how my immediate and extended families, my church community, and my school community fed into, to varying degrees of severity, those volatile, psychological energy patterns of scapegoating me in some way. I would several decades later understand how my childhood despair that led to the severe self-wounding so accurately and grotesquely depicted in my dream, opened many, many hemorrhages psychologically, like the bullet wounds, that made it very easy for destructive forces to infiltrate and proceed to make my life a living torture chamber.
I was mercilessly bullied in elementary, and junior high school, by mostly privileged white children from liberal and/or progressive families. I, along with my sisters, was one of a small handful of children in the school of around 200 students, who were mixed race, or non-white. To say the least, this did not help matters when it came to my designation as scapegoat in a mountain lake of pale faces. When I went home, the abusive environment always meant that I would never know whether I’d be subjected to inappropriate levels of punishment, or my mother and father would fight to inappropriate levels of force and even bodily harm, or, Mother of God forbid, everything went relatively normally, for our lives, at least."
Quotes from My Memoir:
Publisher: Anshin B. Kelly, KaleidoShin Publications, All Rights Reserved.